I’m Victoria, and it’s my dream that one day, every woman will know, and be able to step into their power.
That’s why I do what I do and why I love what I do. Seeing women transform from lost, anxious and powerless, to feeling calm and empowered with a sense of purpose. From hearing the wonderful birth stories from women who came to me terrified, to seeing the “a-ha” moments with the women who I coach.
If we heal women, we heal the world.
My journey started in 2010 when I had my first baby. Being a mum was everything I wanted and even though I was being investigated for endometriosis at the time, I fell pregnant so easily. I thought the birth would be just as easy – I was wrong.
Like many pregnant women I followed the path of a ‘normal’ NHS birth, doing what I was told every step of the way believing that they knew best, and not doing any reading or research outside of the leaflets they gave me.
I knew I wanted a drug-free birth – I don’t even like taking paracetamol when I have a headache – but the NHS antenatal classes spent more time talking about how much it was going to hurt and what pain relief drugs were available to me, than they did on talking about the physiology of birth and how a woman’s body works. This idea that it was going to be extremely painful, coupled with the fact that ‘One Born Every Minute’ seemed to be on the T.V. everywhere I went, really stuck with me.
27 hours into a back-to-back labour, the drugs were practically forced on me and the rest of my labour is a bit of a blur. I was told what was going to be done to me instead of being asked, told what I was ‘allowed’ to do and what I needed. After Noah was born, I was still out of it from the pethidine. I felt totally out of control during my time at the hospital and one thing I do remember is telling my husband he was never coming near me again, I never wanted to feel like I had done in those moments again.
Fast forward 3 years and I was expecting our second baby. I wanted things to be different this time, but from speaking to friends and family, my experience seemed to be the norm. Deep down, I knew that there had to be a better way. Women have been giving birth to their babies for millenia and pain relief drugs and interventions are a very recent discovery on the human timeline.
That’s when I discovered Hypnobirthing.
Back in 2013 it was quite unheard of and a lot of people – my husband and mum included – were sceptical, but I practised what I’d been taught and it worked. My second baby boy made a calm, drug-free entry into this world. I felt calm and in control the whole way through. All the decisions I made were mine. I was informed, and if any special circumstances arrived I knew what to ask, what my options were and that I was ‘allowed’ to say no.
This period of my life sparked a passion within. The passion for women to know their power. Elias’ birth awakened something in me. I felt cheated that I didn’t experience this with my first birth, I felt cheated on behalf of women everywhere who didn’t know this was available to them, for them, inside of them.
So I threw myself into training. I trained with Developing Doulas to become a birth and postnatal Doula and with The Wise Hippo to be an antenatal and Hypnobirthing instructor. Not so that everyone will have a birth like me, but so women know what their amazing bodies can do, no matter how they choose to have their baby or what direction their birth takes.
But I wanted to take it further. I want all women, all mothers, to see that their power is already within them, lying dormant, ready to be awakened.
So often as women and mothers we get lost. We tie up our value and our worth in our partners, our children, our homes, our jobs. Giving and giving and giving without ever feeling fulfilled ourselves. All the while, knowing there’s more.
Although I loved being a mum, I felt like I was losing myself. I wanted to feel like more than ‘just’ a mum, I wanted to discover this new me after I’d had my children. I felt like the caterpillar in the cocoon, between stages but no closer to becoming a butterfly. And so I invested in a life coach. I learned to love and accept myself, I learned my own worth, I was no longer reacting with anger to triggers from my husband and kids, I did (and continue to do) the inner work and it has changed my life and it ripples out to my children, my husband, my family, my friends and my clients. Knowing how valuable and transformational coaching could be inspired me to train as a coach myself.
Which has brought me to where I am today, running this business. A business for mums by a mum. A business to help you feel empowered, no matter where you are in your motherhood journey. A business for you.